The arrival of a new Beyoncé project is an international celebration, which requires a day off just to begin studying the myriad references, themes, ideas and trends that exist within it. Consider it a civic duty. His seventh studio album, Renaissanceis no different: it’s an expansive, disco- and dance-infused ode to ’70s nightclubs and ’80s queer ballroom culture.
It’s easy to get completely lost in the music, especially with each track blending into the next like a classic club mix. Renaissance is made to be felt on the dance floor – the kind of place where you can move to its melodies and completely lose the lyrics.
But to do that is to miss the opportunity to get ahead, to start heeding the word of the all-powerful Beyoncé before anyone else. Renaissance is a celebration – of blackness, homosexuality, femininity, sex and self – but it’s also a guide to what’s hot and what’s not, courtesy of the supreme trailblazer herself.
With this in mind, we undertook the daunting task of combing through each of the 16 songs on Renaissance for Beyoncé’s word on what’s trending for the rest of the summer — or at least until part two of this three-act project drops. Consider this a more fabulous take on Oprah’s favorite things, or a cooler take on your favorite glossy magazine’s style report. This is hosted by Beyoncé, honey, and set to song.
Here’s a list of all the things Beyoncé thinks we should all be obsessed with, as interpreted through the lyrics of Renaissance. They are trendy. They are essential. They are the moment. Plan accordingly.
Integrity: The chorus of RenaissanceThe opening track of “I’m That Girl,” sees Beyoncé declare, “It’s not the diamonds, it’s not the pearls / I’m that girl.” This is where she tells us to just accept that, even free from riches, this is her. The ultimate. This girl.
Longtime fans will remember Beyoncé record a cover of Marilyn Monroe’s “Diamonds Are a Girl’s Best Friend” for her campaign for Emporio Armani’s Diamonds fragrance since 2007. A high-quality version of the ad was apparently lost to time, but the message found in this new piece is clear: you’re too good to sell yourself just for a big check! You are that girl.
Ottomans: “Cozy” is a triumphant, drum-heavy song about shameless black self-love, and if there’s one thing that helps Beyoncé stay cozy and comfortable in her own skin even when snuggled up in her canopy bed is the right accessories for her home.
“Feet above your sins, I fucking love myself,” she says in the song’s chorus. You heard the woman, kick those dogs! Maintaining your confidence can be a daunting task, which means the right beanbags to rest your feet at the end of the day are a necessity. Launch a limited edition $104 Renaissance album cover cover and you’re ready for the most comfortable night of your life.
aliens: This is a given, Beyoncé will not tolerate any government budget cuts to the space program. “Alien Superstar” encourages its listeners to explore space and do a little amateur alien hunting while they’re there. After all, aliens are so hot right now; just ask Jordan Peele. The monster of Nope was a bit of an alien superstar herself.
Acrylics: Telescopes may be all the rage, but it’s time to ditch your grandma’s glassware. Sorry, it’s the law according to Beyoncé (“stilettos knock vintage crystal out of the bar”). These are just IKEA glasses for your summer outfits. We love a frugal queen!
Faking his own disappearance: One of the hottest things you can do this summer according to Beyoncé is missing girl yourself. In the pre-chorus of “Cuff It,” she echoes wishes similar to Rosamund Pike’s in David Fincher’s 2014 classic, “I Wanna Disappear.” Maybe she decided Jay-Z didn’t pay enough penance afterward. Lemonade.
And again in “Cuff It”, Beyoncé encourages us to take an interest in astronomy. “We’re gonna fuck up at night, spaceships are flying.” What does Beyoncé know about extraterrestrial life that we don’t?
Crowd participation: You may have thought that we went to do The Wave at a sporting event in the mid-2000s that he belonged to. But reluctantly, it’s time to bring it back, as Bey has now dictated. “Big wave in the room, the crowd will move,” she said on “Energy”. As long as we replace Jock Jams with RenaissanceI will allow it.
A full night’s sleep: Beyoncé may be a multi-hyphenated, record-breaking superstar, but she also moonlights as a clinical sleep psychologist. “B is back and I sleep really well at night,” she boasts on “Break My Soul.” It must be nice! But if Beyoncé asks, we’ll do our best to get 8-10 hours a night.
Spend time with your pets: We are entering the foggy days of late July, which means it’s time to savor this summer of love. Beyoncé would like you to take off your “Plastic Off the Sofa” so your pets can climb with you while watching bad reality TV. You and your pets only live once, so enjoy your time together, damn it! That’s what this song is about, isn’t it?
Beach days: When you have more money than you know what to do with, one of the most popular things to do is charter a yacht. But this summer, Beyoncé is trying to save a few bucks. She has three university funds to contribute to!
Still, she’s determined to get out on the water with her friends. “Motorboat, baby, swerve,” she commands on “Virgo’s Groove.” She just wants to beat the heat, as we can tell when these lyrics appear right before “Slow-mo coming out my blouse.” Obviously, she’s dying to put on her bathing suit! For Beyoncé, this summer is a fun day at the beach.
Telescopes: If there is a common theme that emerges on Renaissance, it’s Beyoncé’s desperation to find out what lies beyond this world, scanning other galaxies for evidence of life other than our own. We heard him on “Alien Superstar” and again on “Cuff It”, and he appears one last time on “Move”.
“I’m with my girls and we all need space,” she says firmly at the start of the song. Beyoncé using her influence to encourage more women to enter STEM may be Renaissancemost admirable contribution to society.
Feed your body: There isn’t a part of your body you shouldn’t love, a sentiment that Beyoncé clearly expresses on “Heated” by saying, “Dimples on my hip, stretch yards on my tits.” Show yourself without hesitation or fear. It’s hot there, no need to suffer under a sweater.
Hydration: And speaking of heat, Beyoncé asks, no, requests that you stay hydrated. “Drinkin’ my water, mindin’ my biz,” she raps on the outro of “Heated.” If you’re smiling and you hear sounds in your mouth, it’s time for a drink, Beyoncé said so!
A well-stocked kitchen: Speaking of water, Miss Knowles has settled the great debate over the best bottled water on “Thique”. “Yeah, it’s that Fiji agua, the candy girl, the piñata,” she says in the first verse. Add some suggestions on what flavors of homemade jams to buy (“It’s all jelly, baby, champagne and cherry”) and which knives she prefers (“This that Ginsu, cut that female dog like culinary”) , and your kitchen will be fully stocked for a Renaissance listening party.
Hypnosis: Call her Beyngali, because according to “All Up in Your Mind” by Master Magician Beyoncé Knowles, hypnotism is hot! Stop the dangling watches, all you need is a little confidence and a dash of sexuality to get your crush’s attention.
sex addiction: Look, Beyoncé understands that the heat is driving us all a little crazy, and she’s saving space for that on “America Has a Problem.” Renaissance is a non-judgmental zone, as evidenced by the opening of his song with “Heard you got that D for me, pray that your love be deep for me.” Be a little weird, Beyoncé will allow it.
save the bees: There are a lot of benefits to organic honey, as Beyoncé touts on “Pure/Honey.” And if she succeeds, you will spend this summer building your own beehive for self-sustaining honey production. Bees are on the verge of extinction, which is why Beyoncé wrote this mind-blowing anthem from a bee’s perspective to highlight their plight: “All the Boys Want My Honey.”
Tea cups: When you have enough honey to add to your tea, could Beyoncé suggest a new phrase to print on a fancy mug? “Four, three, too busy,” she sings in the first verse of “Pure/Honey.” Beyoncé may be the coolest woman alive, but that doesn’t put her above a good mom joke.
Sustainable fashion: Sorry to all The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, because as Bey dictates on “Summer Renaissance,” Birkins is out. What will you carry your Fiji water, self-produced honey and melatonin in, then? An imported Telfar, of course! In the last moments of RenaissanceBeyoncé proves she’s a queen for the people – affordable bags for everyone, her latest trend.